springing into spring...

It feels like forever. As much as I love spring, love the anticipation of waiting for the first green shoots, the first opening of plump new buds, the first hike without a scarf and mittens to ward of the bitter wind... it seems some days like it will never come. I've got some reason to feel so this year, as I await the newest arrival to our family. The weather seems to mirror my moods - bright and cheerful one day, chilly and blustery the next. Some rain in between seems to help freshen the earth and shed some anticipation.
Today was a blustery day. Nothing seemed to go well. It's discouraging to feel so overwhelmed with things to do and yet to feel so frustrated that I can't seem to make progress on anything more than just getting through the day. I find myself craving color, craving sensation, craving time to create and explore. Perhaps this is a signal to find time to just be. To settle into being all of the parts of who I am while knowing that everything about my life is about to change and it will never be the same. I don't think I've faced such a change with such awareness before. It's like an ending and a beginning all wrapped up together. Sort of like spring.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's been some time...

Image
I still don't know if anyone really reads the musings here, but some encouraging words from a friend prompted me to get my fingers moving. It's been a bit of a wild ride these past weeks and I'm just starting to catch my breath. January was a blur - I thought I was really prepared for G to be away again, but my optimism proved to be wildly misleading and so the first month was a slog. It seemed I couldn't get ahead of life enough to look up and see what was coming next. Then in mid-February, just as we were adjusting to him being home again for a few weeks, we got news of a new addition to our family. The 'telling' suddenly seemed like an overwhelming prospect. Adoption is like that I suppose... every milestone is met with anticipation and excitement, but also the prospect of responding to dozens of well-meaning questions about the whole process. We were also really aware of wanting to share the news with Amelia in a way that supported her processing it before
Read more

Home and new normal

Image
We're settling into new routines and getting to know each other. We've been nesting for a week, helping Finn get to know us and his new home. We ventured out for a quick playground visit today, which was fun but also seemed to overwhelm him a bit, though he loved the swing. We'll keep him mostly at home for another few days as he's had so much change in his little life and needs to feels secure and stable. He's settling in pretty well I think. He seems to feel comfortable with us and definitely wants me when he's upset and needs soothing. He's exploring the house more vigorously every day. My dad came by today and installed a gate on our stairs so he doesn't take any tumbles. Finn is a cheerful fellow and loves his sister - pulling hair and squealing. He looks so much like she did as a baby, though his personality is different. He is quite happy playing and exploring on his own, while Amelia really wanted to be with me all the time. He's also not as
Read more