In~tention

It feels like forever. As much as I love spring, love the anticipation of waiting for the first green shoots, the first opening of plump new buds, the first hike without a scarf and mittens to ward of the bitter wind... it seems some days like it will never come. I've got some reason to feel so this year, as I await the newest arrival to our family. The weather seems to mirror my moods - bright and cheerful one day, chilly and blustery the next. Some rain in between seems to help freshen the earth and shed some anticipation. Today was a blustery day. Nothing seemed to go well. It's discouraging to feel so overwhelmed with things to do and yet to feel so frustrated that I can't seem to make progress on anything more than just getting through the day. I find myself craving color, craving sensation, craving time to create and explore. Perhaps this is a signal to find time to just be. To settle into being all of the parts of who I am while knowing that everything about my life

I still don't know if anyone really reads the musings here, but some encouraging words from a friend prompted me to get my fingers moving. It's been a bit of a wild ride these past weeks and I'm just starting to catch my breath. January was a blur - I thought I was really prepared for G to be away again, but my optimism proved to be wildly misleading and so the first month was a slog. It seemed I couldn't get ahead of life enough to look up and see what was coming next. Then in mid-February, just as we were adjusting to him being home again for a few weeks, we got news of a new addition to our family. The 'telling' suddenly seemed like an overwhelming prospect. Adoption is like that I suppose... every milestone is met with anticipation and excitement, but also the prospect of responding to dozens of well-meaning questions about the whole process. We were also really aware of wanting to share the news with Amelia in a way that supported her processing it before