In~tention

It's 4:30 am and I've been tossing and turning most of the night (and up with Finn twice). My mind is a snarl. I've decided to take a leave from work, and it's an anxiety producing process for me. It's been a rough year, and I've been in coping mode for far too long. Last week I had a wake up call, in the form of a lightning bolt across my chest (actually in the vicinity of my heart). I've been assured that it wasn't an actual heart attack, but I've begun to think of it as an attack of the heart... a notice to me that I am not attending to the heart of my life. Oh, I'm going along alright, being the financial provider for my family, managing schedules, responding to people, going to meetings, soothing feelings, making meals... you know, all that practical stuff we all do as parents, as moms, as spouses. But I have not been attending to the things that are in my heart. That my kids need me. I mean really need me. At home. That I have been the sole