I am struggling... feeling stalled and stagnant in a life that is anything but. Work is challenging, kids are busy, G is functional and reasonably content. I am yearning... searching... stuck. Pulled to do something more, to focus on myself, and yet feel incredibly guilty about even contemplating that. There are moments when I am sure I am suffocating. When I am so incredibly bored with my life, when I am desperate to have something more, something just for me. I often feel it is a physical challenge I crave, and yet my body continually deserts me, betrays me.
Home and new normal
We're settling into new routines and getting to know each other. We've been nesting for a week, helping Finn get to know us and his new home. We ventured out for a quick playground visit today, which was fun but also seemed to overwhelm him a bit, though he loved the swing. We'll keep him mostly at home for another few days as he's had so much change in his little life and needs to feels secure and stable. He's settling in pretty well I think. He seems to feel comfortable with us and definitely wants me when he's upset and needs soothing. He's exploring the house more vigorously every day. My dad came by today and installed a gate on our stairs so he doesn't take any tumbles. Finn is a cheerful fellow and loves his sister - pulling hair and squealing. He looks so much like she did as a baby, though his personality is different. He is quite happy playing and exploring on his own, while Amelia really wanted to be with me all the time. He's also not as...
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